Michel’s Thoughts

A compilation of funny emails I get, things I find on the internet and my thoughts

It’s Finally Here!

March5

!cid_X_MA1_1267813415@aol

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posted under Pix | No Comments »

One Day Remix

March4
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posted under Videos | No Comments »

Stepping Up

February25
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Citi Commercial

February23
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posted under Videos | 1 Comment »

Can Cold Water Clean Dishes?

February20

This is for all the germ conscious folks 
that worry about using cold water to clean.
 
 
 
John went to visit his 90 year old grandfather 
in a very secluded, rural area of Saskatchewan
 
 

After spending a great evening chatting the night away,
 
the next morning John’s grandfather prepared
 
breakfast of bacon, eggs and toast.
  
 
 

However, John noticed a film like substance on his plate,
 
and questioned his grandfather asking,
 
 

‘Are these plates clean?’
 
 

His grandfather replied,
 
 

‘They’re as clean as cold water can get em…
 
Just you go ahead and finish your meal, Sonny!’
 
 
 

For lunch the old man made hamburgers.
 
 

Again, John was concerned about the plates,
 
as his appeared to have tiny specks around
 
the edge that looked like dried egg and asked,
 
 

‘Are you sure these plates are clean?’
 
 

Without looking up the old man said,
 
 

‘I told you before, Sonny, those dishes are as
 
clean as cold water can get them. Now don’t you
 
fret, I don’t want to hear another word about it!’
 
 

Later that afternoon, John was on his way to a nearby town
 
and as he was leaving, his grandfather’s dog
 
started to growl, and wouldn’t let him pass.
 
  
  
 

John yelled and said, 
‘Grandfather, your dog won’t let me get to my car’.
 

 
 

Without diverting his attention from the football game
 
he was watching on TV, the old man shouted!
 
 

‘Coldwater, go lay down now, yah hear me!’
 
 
 
 

Meet Coldwater !

dog

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posted under Jokes | No Comments »

How Do You Decide Who To Marry? (written by kids)

February20

You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff..  Like, if you like sports, she should like it that you like sports, and she should keep the chips and dip coming. 
– Alan, age 10
No person really decides before they grow up who they’re going to marry. God decides it all way before, and you get to find out later who you’re stuck with… 
– Kristen, age 10
WHAT IS THE RIGHT AGE TO GET MARRIED?

Twenty-three is the best age because you know the person FOREVER by then.
– Camille, age 10
HOW CAN A STRANGER TELL IF TWO PEOPLE ARE MARRIED?

You might have to guess, based on whether they seem to be yelling at the same kids.
– Derrick, age 8
WHAT DO YOU THINK YOUR MOM AND DAD HAVE IN COMMON?

Both don’t want any more kids. 
– Lori, age 8
WHAT DO MOST PEOPLE DO ON A DATE?

Dates are for having fun, and people should use them to get to know each other. Even boys have something to say if you listen long enough…
– Lynnette, age 8 (isn’t she a treasure?)
On the first date, they just tell each other lies and that usually gets them interested enough to go for a second date. 
– Martin, age 10 (isn’t he ready for the world of dating?)
WHAT WOULD YOU DO ON A FIRST DATE THAT WAS TURNING SOUR?

I’d run home and play dead. The next day I would call all the newspapers and make sure they wrote about me in all the dead columns. 
– Craig, age 9
WHEN IS IT OKAY TO KISS SOMEONE?

When they’re rich.
– Pam, age 7 
The law says you have to be eighteen, so I wouldn’t want to mess with that.
– Curt, age 7
The rule goes like this: If you kiss someone, then you should marry them and have kids with them… It’s the right thing to do. 
– Howard, age 8
IS IT BETTER TO BE SINGLE OR MARRIED
?
It’s better for girls to be single but not for boys.. Boys need someone to clean up after them.
– Anita, age 9 (bless you child)
HOW WOULD THE WORLD BE DIFFERENT IF PEOPLE DIDN’T GET MARRIED?

There sure would be a lot of kids to explain, wouldn’t there?
– Kelvin, age 8 (I like this kid)
And the #1 Favorite is …..
HOW WOULD YOU MAKE A MARRIAGE WORK?

Tell your wife that she looks pretty, even if she looks like a truck.
– Ricky, age 10 (He’ll be married forever)

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The Blobfish

February20

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As you can see from the accompanying photograph, the cunning blobfish (Psychrolutes marcidus) is the most terrifying fish in the world.

And if you’re not afraid of it yet, you should be, because there’s always something lurking out there that can get you.

Its hideously deformed body is quite boneless, a gelatinous orb hovering in the deep, covered in slime and mucus. But there’s something even worse.

Its face.

Most fish don’t really have faces. You’ve heard people refer to "fish eyes" or "fish lips," or they say, "Oh, shut up, you old fish face."

But the blobfish actually has a face. Not a fish face, but a human face, complete with lips and a big, bulbous nose.

A blobfish looks like some fat, drunken judge and may be highly intelligent. And therefore quite dangerous.

It frowns. It leers. Sometimes, it even drools.

"That’s gross!" said an editor around here who didn’t believe me. But once she saw the photos, she began gnawing the knuckles on her right hand in sheer, abject terror.

American journalism has a formula for stories designed to whip up panic about highly adaptive species. For "balance," you insert a quote or two from some learned biologist who tells readers not to worry.

Some marine biologist might reassure readers that the blobfish lives far away, in the deep waters off the coast of Tasmania — some 9,600 miles away — and therefore could never find its way into the Chicago River or the ship canal.

Yeah, right.  (source: LA times)

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Toast Graph

February11

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posted under Pix | No Comments »

Huh?

February11
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posted under Videos | No Comments »

Techno Jeep

February4
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posted under Videos | 1 Comment »

El-Al Ad

February2

!cid_1_3026040690@web59804_mail_ac4_yahoo

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posted under Pix | 1 Comment »

THE ANT AND THE GRASSHOPPER

January28

This one is a little different… . Two Different Versions… ……… …. 

Two Different Morals


OLD VERSION

The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter.

The grasshopper thinks the ant is a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away..

Come winter, the ant is warm and well fed.
The grasshopper has no food or shelter, so he dies out in the cold.

MORAL OF THE STORY: Be responsible for yourself!



MODERN VERSION

The ant works hard in the withering heat and the rain all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter.
The grasshopper thinks the ant is a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away.
Come winter, the shivering grasshopper calls a press conference and demands to know why the ant should be allowed to be warm and well fed while he is cold and starving.
CBS, NBC , PBS, CNN,
and ABC show up to provide pictures of the shivering grass-hopper next to a video of the ant in his comfortable home with a table filled with food.
America is stunned by the sharp contrast.

How can this be, that in a country of such wealth, this poor grasshopper is allowed to suffer so?
Kermit the Frog
appears on Oprah with the grasshopper and everybody cries when they sing, ‘It’s Not Easy Being Green.’
ACORN
stages a demonstration in front of the ant’s house where the news stations film the group singing, "We shall overcome " . Then Rev. Jeremiah Wright has the group kneel down to pray to God for the grasshoppers  sake.
President Obama
condemns the ant and blames President Bush, President Reagan, Christopher Columbus, and the Pope for the grasshopper’s plight.
Nancy Pelosi & Harry Reid
exclaim in an interview with Larry King that the ant has gotten rich off the back of the grasshopper, and both call for an immediate tax hike on the ant to make him pay his fair share..
Finally, the EEOC drafts the Economic Equity & Anti-Grasshopper Act retroactive to the beginning of the summer.
The ant is fined for failing to hire a proportionate number of green bugs and, having nothing left to pay his retroactive taxes, his home is confiscated by the Government Green Czar and given to the grasshopper.
The story ends as we see the grasshopper and his free-loading friends finishing up the last bits of the ant’s food while the government house he is in, which, as you recall, just happens to be the ant’s old house, crumbles around them because the grasshopper doesn’t maintain it.
The ant has disappeared in the snow, never to be seen again.
The grasshopper is found dead in a drug related incident, and the house, now abandoned, is taken over by a gang of spiders who terrorize the ramshackle, once prosperous and once peaceful, neighborhood.
The entire Nation collapses bringing the rest of the free world with it.

MORAL OF THE STORY: Be careful how you vote in 2010.

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posted under Inspiring | 1 Comment »

New Rav Shmuel Song

January27
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posted under Videos | No Comments »

Yeshiva Bochur

January24
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posted under Videos | 1 Comment »

Awareness Test

January8
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