Michel’s Thoughts

A compilation of funny emails I get, things I find on the internet and my thoughts

Build Ten More!

November30

Late Shabbos afternoon at the Kotel a young Chabadnik walked up to me. He looked sad. We had received the news about the deaths in the Chabad House in India and were all feeling the loss. It turned out that the rabbi who was murdered in India was this young Chabadnik’s brother-in-law.
    “I’ll tell you what the Rebbe would say.” I blurted out.
    “Tell me. What would the Rebbe say?” he said, looking for hope.
    “’Build ten more!’ That’s what he’d say.”
He nodded his head. He knew that I was right.
    In this war against these maniacs there is only one thing that we can do. Surrender is not an alternative. They demand that we adopt their religion or be killed. We must fight back with every weapon we have.
    Jewish outreach centers that encourage Jews to put on tefillin and keep Shabbos are our most valuable frontline outposts. Anyone who is in a position to built or contribute in any way to the building of one of these outposts would be spitting in the faces of these terrorists who are trying to destroy us.
    If you cannot afford to support one of these outposts then the very least you can do is to make your own home an outpost. Do not let your sorrow prevent you from fighting back. This is exactly what they want. Pick up your weapons; your love for your fellow Jew, your tefillin and your Shabbos candles and go out on patrol duty every day.
    When they see that their murdering schemes merely strengthen our resolve they might even rethink their evil ways.  (by: Gutman Locks)

posted under Inspiring | No Comments »

10 Reasons Why Beards Are Good

November30

badass

women

 sledding

smarter

crisis

disguise

warm

sailing

hide_stuff

smoke_signals

the_end

What do you think about beards?

posted under Cartoons, Jokes | 1 Comment »

Putting Out The Kitchen Fire

November27

Read first then watch the video. – it may be the most important 30 seconds you have ever spent!

I never realized that a wet dishcloth can be a one size fits all lid to cover a fire in a pan! This is a dramatic video (30-second, very short) about how to deal with a common kitchen fire … oil in a frying pan. Read the following Introduction, then watch the show … It’s a real eye-opener!!  At the Fire Fighting Training school they would demonstrate this with a deep fat fryer set on the fire field. An instructor would don a fire suit and using an 8 oz cup at the end of a10 foot pole toss water onto the grease fire. The results got the attention of the students. The water, being heavier than oil, sinks to the bottom where it instantly becomes superheated. The explosive force of the steam blows the burning oil up and out. On the open field, it became a thirty foot high fireball that resembled a nuclear blast. Inside the confines of a kitchen, the fire ball hits the ceiling and fills the entire room.  Also, do not throw sugar or flour on a grease fire. One cup of either creates the explosive force of two sticks of dynamite. This is a powerful message—-watch the video and don’t forget what you see. Tell your whole family about this video. Or better yet, send this to them.

Thanksgiving Cartoons

November26

Click on the cartoons to see them bigger

tg8

tg9

tg 1 

tg 2

tg 3

tg 4

tg 6

tg 7

posted under Cartoons | No Comments »

Anti-Israel ‘celebration’ at UN

November25

UN marks international day of solidarity with Palestinians with various anti-Israel events

The United Nations is currently marking the international day of solidarity with the Palestinian people, on the occasion of the 61st anniversary of the UN’s decision to approve the partition plan.
For two days, the UN will hold blatantly anti-Israel events, including movies comparing Israel to the Nazis, and exhibits on the Israeli occupation and Palestinian suffering.
The climax will come in the form of a marathon of discussions, which got underway Monday and will culminate with six anti-Israel resolutions. These include ones calling for the Golan’s return to Syria and for the division of Jerusalem.
Israel normally ignores the annual solidarity day, yet this time officials decided to issue a harsh condemnation in light of the large volume of events and the fact that they are talking place while Israel and the Palestinians are engaged in negotiations.
In a speech to be delivered Tuesday evening by Ambassador Gabriella Shalev, she is expected to condemn the UN’s one-sided attitude.
In the speech, Shalev will be pointing out that the UN does not have a day of solidarity with the rights of Israelis.
Last week, UN Secretary-General Ban Ki-moon told Prime Minister Ehud Olmert he was deeply concerned about the humanitarian situation in Gaza and urged Israel to allow UN aid workers into the territory.
“The secretary-general today telephoned Israeli Prime Minister Ehud Olmert to express his deep concern over the consequences of the deteriorating humanitarian situation in Gaza,” the UN press office said in a statement.
The prime minister made it clear to the UN chief that Hamas was responsible for the violations of the truce deal. (source: ynet)

Elastic Band

November24

Make sure to watch the lady in the back.

posted under Videos | 2 Comments »

Service Lets Drivers Lock in Gasoline Price

November23

The high price of gasoline has some U.S. drivers looking to the future.
A recently introduced service called MyGallons.com allows drivers to fill up their tanks sometime in the future but at current prices, using a debit-like card which banks gallons rather than dollars.
“The price of gasoline was changing all the time. It seemed unpredictable,” Steven Verona, founder and owner of the Miami-based company, said on Monday.
“It seemed there had to be a way to fix the price,” he said.
Working on the assumption that the price of gasoline will continue to rise, Verona started about two and a half years ago to put together the company which gives the driver some measure of control of what he pays for gasoline.
Since a soft launch in January, about 2,000 people representing a cross-section of regions across the U.S. have signed up with MyGallons.com to be able to help them find ways to cope with the rapidly rising price of gasoline, Verona said.

A few weeks ago, the average retail price for U.S. gasoline hit a new record of $4.10 a gallon, rising 1.6 cents over the last 2 months and up $1.14 from a year ago, the U.S. government said.
And while the high price of gasoline has cut demand by about a percent from last year, the record high price of crude oil over $140 a barrel seems to ensure that prices will stay high.
Verona said that new customers generally begin by purchasing 25 to 50 gallons of gasoline.
“Once they are comfortable with how MyGallons work, they are buying 100 to 200 gallons at a time,” Verona said.
Using regular unleaded gasoline as the benchmark, drivers pre-buy gasoline based on their zip code. MyGallons.com determines what that price is based using established providers of oil prices.
Drivers using premium gasoline or premium pay an additional price over benchmark regular gasoline for the higher-priced fuel.
At the pump, the driver swipes his MyGallons card like a debit card. MyGallons.com said that the card is accepted at over 95 percent of U.S. gas stations.
“We don’t sell futures. It’s prepurchased gas,” said Verona, who said MyGallons.com uses a sophisticated hedging strategy to protect and meet obligations to members.
The risk to the consumer is if price of gasoline in the future becomes cheaper rather than more expensive. But if members are dissatisfied, they can drop out of the program and receive a lesser of the current price or what they paid as a refund.
“There is that risk that the price could fall significantly,” said Verona.
“But I think that most people would agree that risk is pretty minimal. Overtime, it is going to go up even if there is no change in the supply/demand relationship because inflation alone would push the price up.” 

(source: vosizneias.com)

Check Your Drivers License

November22

This is creepy!
Check your drivers license …
You can now see anyone’s drivers license on the Internet, including your own!
I just searched for mine and there it was …
Picture and all!!
Thanks Homeland Security Privacy, where is our right to it?
I removed mine and suggest you do the same …
Go to the under mentioned Web site and check it out.
Just enter your Name, City and State to see if yours is on file.
After your license comes on the screen, click the box marked ‘Please
Remove’. This will remove it from public viewing, but not from law enforcement.  Click here for the site.

posted under Jokes | No Comments »

Human Mirror

November21
posted under Videos | 1 Comment »

Coffee Cup Holder

November20
posted under Videos | No Comments »

Kosher Email

November19

A new company, called Kosher Email is about to release new software to make sure your emails are kosher.
How does it work?
When you download the software it will "read" and "filter" your outgoing email.
The software will:
- Add Yiddishized names (depending on which software you order. Available in Sephardic, Ashkenazic and Hassidishe pronunciations)
- Convert dates to the Jewish calendar
- Add Bli Neder , Bli Ein Hora and IY"H.
- Remove any possible Loshon Hara, Rechilus and Motzei Shem Raa
- Insert typical frumie grammar errors
- Certified kosher, L’Mehadrin Min Ha’Mehadrin

Here’s an example:
Before:
Dear Dad,
We’re landing at JFK at 4 PM on Monday. Please bring the minivan because Grandma’s wheelchair is making the trip. I love Grandma, but, boy, does she complain.
We are really looking forward to Sarah’s wedding on Saturday night. She and Jake make such a lovely couple.
Love from the kids,
    Debbie

After:
Tatti, Ad Mayah v-Esrim,
Bli Neder, we’ll be landing, IY"H, at JFK on Yom Sheni L’Shabbos Bein Hashmashos, with God’s help. Please bring the minivan because Bubbe’s (she should live and be well) wheelchair is making the trip. I love Bubbe. [but, boy, does she complain].(taken out as loshon hara!; See Shmiras Halashon 2:4)
We are really looking forward to Sarala’s Chasana on Motzaei Shabbos. Her and Yankele make such a lovely couple, they should build a Bayis Neh-ehman B’Yisroel.
Love from the Gantza Mishpucha, Bli Ayin Hora, tu-tu-tu,
    Devorah Sprintze

ADG Security

November19
posted under Videos | No Comments »

Video Conference

November18
posted under Videos | No Comments »

How It’s Done

November18
posted under Videos | 1 Comment »

Random Pix

November17

image001

image004

image012

image014

image015

image018

image024

image025

posted under Pix | No Comments »
« Older Entries