CAN YOU GUESS WHAT THIS IS?
Guess what they are loading on the plane? 
It’s a hard disk in 1956…
HDD with 5 MB storage in 1956.
In September 1956 IBM launched the 305 RAMAC, the first computer with a hard disk drive (HDD).
The HDD weighed over a ton and stored 5 MB of data.
Start appreciating your 8 GB memory stick!
Now that Vancouver has won the chance to host the 2010 Winter Olympics, people from all over the world are asking questions about attending. Believe it or not these questions about Canada were posted on an International Tourism Website.
Obviously the answers are a joke; but the questions were really asked!
Q: I have never seen it warm on Canadian TV, so how do the plants grow? (England)
A: We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around and watch them die
Q: Will I be able to see Polar Bears in the street? (USA)
A: Depends on how much you’ve been drinking.
Q: I want to walk from Vancouver to Toronto; can I follow the Railroad tracks? (Sweden)
A: Sure, it’s only Four thousand miles, take lots of water.
Q: Is it safe to run around in the bushes in Canada? (Sweden)
A: So it’s true what they say about Swedes.
Q: Are there any ATM’s (cash machines) in Canada? Can you send me a list of them in Toronto, Vancouver, Edmonton & Halifax ? (England)
A: What, did your last slave die?
Q: Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Canada? (USA)
A: A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe…Ca-na-da is that big country to your North…oh forget it. Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in Calgary. Come naked.
Q: Which direction is North in Canada? (USA)
A: Face south and then turn 180 degrees. Contact us when you get here and we’ll send the rest of the directions.
Q: Can I bring cutlery into Canada? (England)
A: Why? Just use your fingers like we do.
Q: Can you send me the Vienna Boys’ Choir schedule? (USA)
A: Aus-t ri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y, which is…oh forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every Tuesday night in Vancouver and in Calgary, straight after the hippo races. Come naked.
Q: Do you have perfume in Canada ? (Germany)
A: No, We don’t stink.
Q: I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth. Where can I sell it in Canada? (USA)
A: Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather.
Q: Do you celebrate Thanksgiving in Canada? (USA)
A: Only at Thanksgiving.
Q: Are there supermarkets in Toronto and is milk available all year round? (Germany)
A: No, we are a peaceful civilization of Vegan hunter/gathers. Milk is illegal.
Q: I have a question about a famous animal in Canada, but I forget its name. It’s a kind of big horse with horns. (USA)
A: It’s called a Moose. They are tall and very violent, eating the brains of anyone walking close to them. You can scare them off by spraying yourself with human urine before you go out walking.
Q: Will I be able to speak English most places I go? (USA)
A: Yes, but you will have to learn it first.
Silently awaiting for so long
Silently awaiting and trying to keep strong
Silently awaiting for someone to care
Silently, silently ‘cuz everything is bare
Silently I sit among my friends
I wonder will this hunger inside me ever end
Silently I watch all their eyes filled with joy
While I’m silently crying ‘cuz I’m a hungry little boy
Baraich alainu Hashem Elokainu
Uzrainu Hashem Elokeinu, Tishma koleinu
Ima I know it’s hard for you
Preparing one lunch I know that’s all you can do
There’s never enough to give to more than one
You gave me lunch yesterday, today I get none
I can see that my Rebbi’s drawing near
Knowing what I must answer I am holding back the tears
Can I explain the way the shame in me burns,
I have nothing to eat today; it is my brother’s turn
Baraich alainu Hashem Elokainu
Uzrainu Hashem Elokeinu, Tishma koleinu
I stand here before you; I look into your eyes,
Please don’t turn away, please don’t turn aside
So think of me when you’re feeling satisfied
Think of me think of me and this pain I feel inside
Baraich alainu Hashem Elokainu
Uzrainu Hashem Elokeinu Tishma koleinu…
Got Chicken – Keren Moshe Yitzchak HaKohen is a unique charity that distributes money to poverty stricken families in Jerusalem. Unfortunately the opportunities to distribute funds to needy people are quite abundant. By utilizing a unique network of talented and giving individuals they have secured many methods of transferring the necessary funds to the appropriate families in manners which have limited the embarrassment of those who receive their assistance. www.gotchicken.org
1. A vulture boards an airplane, carrying two dead
raccoons. The Stewardess looks at him and says, ‘I’m
sorry, sir, only one carrion allowed per passenger.’
2. Two fish swim into a concrete wall. The one turns
to the other and says, ‘Dam!’
3. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they
lit a fire in the craft. Unsurprisingly it sank,
proving once again that you can’t have your kayak and
heat it too.
4. Two hydrogen atoms meet. One says, ‘I’ve lost my
electron.’ The other says, ‘Are you sure?’ The first
replies ‘Yes, I’m positive.’
5. Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused
Novocain during a root canal? His goal: transcend
dental medication.
6. A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel
and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent
tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager
came out of the office and asked them to disperse.
But why?’, they asked, as they moved off. ‘Because,’
he said, ‘I can’t stand chess-nuts boasting in an open
foyer.’
7. A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption.
One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named
‘Ahmal.’ The other goes to a family in Spain ;
they name him ‘Juan.’ Years later, Juan sends a
picture of himself to his birth mother. Upon receiving
the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she
also had a picture of Ahmal. Her husband responds,
‘They’re twins! If you’ve seen Juan, you’ve seen
Ahmal.’
8. A group of friars were behind on their belfry
payments, so they opened up a small florist shop to
raise funds. Since everyone liked to buy flowers
from the men of God, a rival florist across town
thought the competition was unfair. He asked the good
fathers to close down, but they would not. He went
back and begged the friars to close. They ignored him.
So, the rival florist hired Hugh MacTaggart, the
roughest and most vicious thug in town to
‘persuade’ them to close. Hugh beat up the friars and
trashed their store, saying he’d be back if they
didn’t close up shop. Terrified, they did so,
thereby proving that only Hugh can prevent florist
friars.
9.. Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most
of the time, which produced an impressive set of
calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which
made him rather frail and, with his odd diet, he
suffered from bad breath. This made him (Oh, man, this
is so bad, it’s good) a super calloused fragile mystic
hexed by halitosis.
10. And finally, there was the person who sent ten
different puns to friends, with the hope that at least
one of the puns would make them laugh. No pun in ten did.
