The NY Post reports: It’s a scofflaw’s dream – new GPS software that alerts New York City drivers to red-light cameras, speed traps and DWI checkpoints so they can steer clear of cops and traffic tickets.

“The system gives you enough time to correct any dopey thing you’re about to do,” said Brooklyn subway conductor John Carlson, 49, who bought the software, and said it “absolutely” has helped him avoid tickets.

“I’m from the school where green means go, red means stop, and yellow means go very, very fast,” Carlson said. “So this system not only saves me from tickets, but it has helped me be a better, more alert driver. I don’t do that anymore.”

The software database of law-enforcement locations can be downloaded to a variety of vehicle GPS systems for $10 a month, $40 a year or $100 for life. The database is compiled by drivers, who upload locations as they find them.

The Big Apple database includes all 300 red-light cameras and dozens of police traps.

Small icons – such as a martini glass for a DWI checkpoint on some systems – appear on the screen map to alert drivers, while an alarm sounds and a warning message flashes.

The Post test-drove the system in Queens last week, and it identified at least six cameras and three speed traps from 1,000 feet away.

Some of the DWI and speed traps are not active all the time, and only a third of the 300 cameras are active at any given moment, but the company founder Joe Scott said: “If there’s a regular spot cops set up traps, then drivers should know that.”

Queens sanitation worker Michael Garcia, 42, bought it, and said it has helped him avoid tickets near the RFK/Triborough Bridge.

“The cops wait as cars come off the bridge from Manhattan into Astoria,” he said. “There’s a spot they can hide. I knew to slow down, and sure enough, there they were.”

Carlson said the system “levels the playing field,” and he was happy to add the locations of the city’s 300 red-light cameras into the database after obtaining the top-secret list from a city insider.

“Sometimes you can’t help but go through a yellow,” he said. “Then you get a $50 ticket. It’s really not fair that there’s no warning. It seems like a revenue generator. This gives the driver more power, and encourages them to follow the law, which should be the point.”

But officials worry that the warning system could provoke drivers to break the law.

“I would equate this system with radar detectors, which are illegal in some places,” said Councilman Peter Vallone Jr., chair of the Public Safety Committee. “I think the city should definitely take a close look at this.”

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(source: thecooljew)

A lawyer and an elderly Jewish man are sitting next to each other on a long flight. The lawyer is thinking that Jews are so dumb that he could get over on them easy…so the lawyer asks if the Jew would he like to play a fun game.

The old Jewish man is tired and just wants to take a nap, so he politely declines and tries to catch a few winks. The lawyer persists, and says that the game is a lot of fun. I ask you a question, and if you don’t know the answer, you pay me only $5; you ask me one, and if I don’t know the answer, I will pay you $500, he says. This catches the Jew’s attention and to keep the lawyer quiet, he agrees to play the game.

The lawyer asks the first question. ‘What’s the distance from The Earth to the Moon?’ The elderly Jew doesn’t say a word, reaches in his pocket pulls out a five-dollar bill, and hands it to the lawyer.

Now, it’s the Jew’s turn. He asks the lawyer, ‘What goes up a hill with three legs, and comes down with four?’ The lawyer uses his laptop and searches all references he could find on the Net. He sends e-mails to all the smart friends he knows, all to no avail. After one hour of searching he finally gives up. He wakes up the Jewish man and hands him $500. The old Jew  pockets the $500 and goes right back to sleep.

The lawyer is going nuts not knowing the answer.. He wakes the elderly Jew up and asks, ‘Well, so what goes up a hill with three legs and comes down with four?’

The Jew shrugs, reaches in his pocket, hands the lawyer $5 and goes back to sleep.

Don’t mess with us Jews..

A passenger landed a twin-engine plane in Florida after the pilot died in flight with a total of six people on board.

Federal Aviation Administration officials say the pilot died after takeoff from an airport in Naples on Sunday. It was on autopilot and climbing toward 10,000 feet when the pilot died.

The passenger who took over is licensed for single-engine planes but isn’t certified to fly the larger King Air craft.

An air traffic controller helped the passenger down by calling a friend in Connecticut who knows the King Air plane and relaying instructions. The plane landed safely at Southwest Florida International Airport in Fort Myers.

The plane had been headed to Jackson, Miss. The names of the pilot and passengers have not been released.