This one is a little different… . Two Different Versions… ……… …. 

Two Different Morals

OLD VERSION

The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter.

The grasshopper thinks the ant is a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away..

Come winter, the ant is warm and well fed.
The grasshopper has no food or shelter, so he dies out in the cold.

MORAL OF THE STORY: Be responsible for yourself!

MODERN VERSION
The ant works hard in the withering heat and the rain all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter.
The grasshopper thinks the ant is a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away.
Come winter, the shivering grasshopper calls a press conference and demands to know why the ant should be allowed to be warm and well fed while he is cold and starving.
CBS, NBC , PBS, CNN, and ABC show up to provide pictures of the shivering grass-hopper next to a video of the ant in his comfortable home with a table filled with food.
America is stunned by the sharp contrast.
How can this be, that in a country of such wealth, this poor grasshopper is allowed to suffer so?
Kermit the Frog appears on Oprah with the grasshopper and everybody cries when they sing, ‘It’s Not Easy Being Green.’
ACORN stages a demonstration in front of the ant’s house where the news stations film the group singing, "We shall overcome " . Then Rev. Jeremiah Wright has the group kneel down to pray to God for the grasshoppers  sake.
President Obama condemns the ant and blames President Bush, President Reagan, Christopher Columbus, and the Pope for the grasshopper’s plight.
Nancy Pelosi & Harry Reid exclaim in an interview with Larry King that the ant has gotten rich off the back of the grasshopper, and both call for an immediate tax hike on the ant to make him pay his fair share..
Finally, the EEOC drafts the Economic Equity & Anti-Grasshopper Act retroactive to the beginning of the summer.
The ant is fined for failing to hire a proportionate number of green bugs and, having nothing left to pay his retroactive taxes, his home is confiscated by the Government Green Czar and given to the grasshopper.
The story ends as we see the grasshopper and his free-loading friends finishing up the last bits of the ant’s food while the government house he is in, which, as you recall, just happens to be the ant’s old house, crumbles around them because the grasshopper doesn’t maintain it.
The ant has disappeared in the snow, never to be seen again.
The grasshopper is found dead in a drug related incident, and the house, now abandoned, is taken over by a gang of spiders who terrorize the ramshackle, once prosperous and once peaceful, neighborhood.
The entire Nation collapses bringing the rest of the free world with it.

MORAL OF THE STORY: Be careful how you vote in 2010.

After months of negotiation with the authorities, a Talmudist from
Odessa was finally granted permission to visit Moscow.  He boarded the train
and found an empty seat.

At the next stop, a young man got on and sat next to him.

The scholar looked at the young man and he thought: This fellow doesn’t
look like a peasant, so if he is no peasant he probably comes from this
district.  If he comes from this district, then he must be Jewish because this is,
after all, a Jewish district.

But on the other hand, since he is a Jew, where could he be going? I’m
the only Jew in our district who has permission to travel to Moscow .

Ahh, wait! Just outside Moscow there is a little village called Samvet,
and Jews don’t need special permission to go to Samvet.  But why would
he travel to Samvet?  He is surely going to visit one of the Jewish families there.

But how many Jewish families are there in Samvet?  Aha, only two – the
Bernsteins and the Steinbergs.  But since the Bernstein’s are a terrible family,
so such a nice looking fellow like him, he must be visiting the Steinbergs.

But why is he going to the Steinbergs in Samvet?  The Steinbergs have
only daughters, two of them, so maybe he’s their son-in-law.

But if he is, then which daughter did he marry?

They say that Sarah Steinberg married a nice lawyer from Budapest , and
Esther married a businessman from Zhitomer, so it must be Sarah’s
husband.  Which means that his name is Alexander Cohen, if I’m not mistaken.

But if he came from Budapest , with all the anti-Semitism they have
there, he must have changed his name.  What’s the Hungarian equivalent
of Cohen?  It is Kovacs.

But since they allowed him to change his name, he must have special
status to change it.  What could it be?  Must be a doctorate from the
University. Nothing less would do.

At this point, therefore, the scholar of Talmud turns to the young man
and says, "Excuse me. Do you mind if I open the window, Dr.  Kovacs?"

"Not all," answered the startled co-passenger. "But how is it that you
know my name?"

"Ahhh," replied the Talmudist, "It was obvious."

Several years ago, a rabbi from out-of-state accepted a job from a community in Houston, Texas. Some weeks after he arrived, he had an occasion to ride the bus from his home to the downtown area. When he sat down, he discovered that the driver had accidentally given him an extra quarter change.

As he considered what to do, he thought to himself,  ‘You’d better give the quarter back. It would be wrong to keep it.’ Then he thought, ‘Oh, forget it, it’s only a quarter. Who would worry about this little amount? Anyway, the bus company gets too much fare; they will never miss it. Accept it as a ‘gift from God’ and keep quiet.’
When his stop came, he paused momentarily at the door, and then he handed the quarter to the driver and said, ‘Here, you gave me too much change.’
The driver, with a smile, replied, ‘Aren’t you the new rabbi  in town?’

‘Yes’ he replied.
‘Well, I have been thinking a lot lately about going somewhere to worship. I just wanted to see what you would do if I gave you too much change. I’ll see you in Shul on Shabbos.’
When the rabbi stepped off of the bus, he literally grabbed the nearest light pole, held on, and said, ‘Oh Rebono Shel Olem, I almost sold a yid for a quarter.’

Ratio of an igloo’s circumference to its diameter: Eskimo Pi

2000 pounds of Chinese soup: Won ton

1 millionth of a mouthwash: 1 microscope

Time between slipping on a peel and smacking the pavement: 1 bananosecond

Weight an evangelist carries with God: 1 billigram

Time it takes to sail 220 yards at 1 nautical mile per hour: Knot-furlong

365.25 days of drinking low-calorie beer because it’s less filling:  1 lite year

16.5 feet in the Twilight Zone: 1 Rod Serling

Half of a large intestine: 1 semicolon

1000 aches: 1 kilohurtz

Basic unit of laryngitis: 1 hoarsepower

453.6 graham crackers: 1 pound cake

1 million microphones: 1 megaphone

1 million bicycles: 2 megacycles

2000 mockingbirds: two kilo mockingbirds (work on it . . . )

10 cards: 1 decacards

1 kilogram of falling figs: 1 Fig Newton

1000 cubic centimeters of wet socks: 1 literhosen

1 millionth of a fish: 1 microfiche

1 trillion pins: 1 terrapin

10 rations: 1 decoration

100 rations: 1 C-ration

2 monograms: 1 diagram

8 nickels: 2 paradigms

3 statute miles of intravenous surgical tubing at Yale University Hospital: 1 I.V. League

100 Senators: Not 1 decision

101%
From a strictly mathematical viewpoint:
What Equals 100%? What does it mean to give MORE than 100%?
Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%?
We have all been in situations where someone wants you to GIVE OVER
100%.
How about ACHIEVING 101%?
What equals 100% in life?
Here’s a little mathematical formula that might help answer these
questions:
If:
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z
Is represented as:
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26.
If:
H-A-R-D-W-O-R-K
8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 = 98%
And:
K-N-O-W-L-E-D-G-E
11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 = 96%
But:
A-T-T-I-T-U-D-E
1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100%
THEN, look how far the love of God will take you:
L-O-V-E-O-F-G-O-D
12+15+22+5+15+6+7+15+4 = 101%
Therefore, one can conclude with mathematical certainty that:
While Hard Work and Knowledge will get you close,
and Attitude will get you there,
It’s the Love of God that will put you over the top!

 This is what really happened in the Hudson.

Amazing heart wrenching song

Lyrics:
Bisyata Dishmaya
I’m writing a letter to you
Sweet little Moishe’le
You were the only one to survive
In India in Mumbai
On that terrifying day
Sweet little Moishe’le
I’m so glad you’re alive
איך אפשר להסביר לך
המצב של כולנו כשזה קרה
כמה אנחנו דאגנו בעבורך
כשיצאת מהגיהנום
הדמעות בענים הפסיקו פתאום
והתחיל שוב כשלא ראינו אביך ואמך
אי אפשר לתאר הכאב שלך משלה נשמה
אבינו רוענו ראה דמע של משלה נשמה
ילד קטן אבל כל כך גדול
ביום המר אבד את הכל
חוץ מאמונה משהלה נשמה
משל’ה ווען די גייסט דעם בריוו קענן ליינען
וועט דיר זיין שווער צו פארשטיין וויפיל מיר האבען געטון מיטוויינען
טראכטענדיג
אויף צוריק
זיך פארשטעלנדיג
דעם לעצטן קוק
פון דיין טאטע מאמע
משל’ה נשמה
משל’ה אויב די מיינסט
אז ווען פיל מאהל די וויינסט
זיסע משל’ה אז קיינער וויינט נישט מיט דיר
וויל איך די זאלסט פארשטיין
אז יעדער פון פלייש און ביין
ליבער משל’ה
דיין ווייטאג שפירט
We have lost so many throughout the years
Yidish blit shed with tears
And from all we can remember
there aren’t many like him
To see tatty and mommy and look at them
איך שנהרגו על קידוש השם
But you little Moishe saw so clearly the yad eloikim
משל’ה קשה לי מאד לכתוב לך מכתב
איך להרגיע עכשיו ילד בלי אם ואב
איין זאך זאלסטו האבען אינזינען
אז טאטי מאמי זהען די טרערן רינען
און זיי דאוונען אז די זאלסט האבען א נחמה
און זיי זאגן משל’ה מיר האבען געשריגען שמע ישראל מיט טרערליך
און מיר בעטן און דעם זכות האלט אן אונזער וועג גאר ערליך
מיט גאנץ כלל ישראל וואס איז געווארען דיין משפחה
האלט דיר פעסט בעמק הבכה
טייער קינד משל’ה נשמה

 A woman is driving at night on a narrow road .. At the same time, a man is driving in the opposite direction on that same road.

When they narrowly pass each other, the woman rolls down her window and loudly yells, “HORSE!” Immediately, the man shouts back, “Witch!”
The man laughs. He is proud to have reacted so quickly to the shouting woman and takes the next turn in the road, maintaining his speed.

Moral of the story:
Men never listen, and when they do, they don’t understand one word a woman says.

Sadie Cohen lived in an integrated neighborhood on Long Island.  Her neighbor was a very generous Black woman who stopped in one Saturday and asked “Mrs Cohen, I have to go to NYC this afternoon to meet my daughter; can I get you anything?  Mrs. Cohen thanked her and exclaimed “Listen, I have a commuter’s ticket for the train.  Why don’t you use my ticket and you’ll bring it back tonight.  After all, it’s all paid for – why should you pay extra.”

       The neighbor thanked her and got on the train.  As the conductor came through the train, he happened to glance at the ticket and noticed the name “Sadie Cohen”.  

      “Excuse me madam, are you Sadie Cohen the person whose name appears on this ticket?”

       The woman smiled sweetly and shook her head affirmatively. A little suspicious, the conductor asked “would you let me compare signatures – would you please sign your name?”

       The Black lady turned indignantly and snapped, “Man are you crazy? You want me to write on Shabbos?”

Can we for once and for all get all the rabbanim and chassidim to stop fighting and be b’achdus? benzi was bobov, teitelbaum was satmar, and the holtzbergs were lubavitch. doesn’t it show a sign to us? I don’t want to rustle anyone’s feathers in this time but these are 3 kehilas who are having machlokos. “ad musei” till when? how many good people have to die untimely deaths in a way no person should go until klal yisroel will get the message? enough is enough. I cant bear it anymore. I haven’t stopped crying since Thursday. I wake up from nightmares.
parents of children , look at what you have-precious gems in your hands. they are valuable and irreplaceable. lets start doing something so chas vasholom no one should loose a gem or a gem shouldn’t loose a parent. reboino shel olem. ad musei?? now that the kedushim are buried and life goes back to normalcy lets not forget this past week and continue this achdus that we have seen so Moshiach can come and we don’t need to know of such tzar again.

It takes approximately 45 minutes to fully go through a R.E.M sleeping cycle. Once one is in that cycle they are in a deep sleep and have a lower chance of being woken. Have you ever tried waking up a friend from falling asleep in class or during a speech? I have, and I have come to realize that I can tap him, push him, pinch him and maybe even punch him in the face and he will still remain in a deep and dark slumber.
My dear friends, our nation has fallen into this cycle I speak of. We are all sleeping and not even responding to our friendly taps and pushes that G-d has given us. We continue to sleep and we continue to dream. We wonder why there is so much tumult in the world we wonder why G-d does these things to us, but we must realize it is the nightmare which we have created due to our wrong doings.
How do we respond to Mumbai? How do we make things better for ourselves? How do we move forward when everything in front of us looks so weary? I know we all have a sense of despair and despondency due to all the catastrophic events that never seem to cease, but we must realize that all these events and obstacles are etched into our very existence.
Before Daniel Pearl was brutally murdered by a terrorist he said to them (and us) on live video footage “I am Jewish. My father is Jewish, my mother is Jewish. I AM JEWISH!” What was he trying to prove? What was he doing telling the people who held a gun to his chest? He was making it clear that despite what you do to me, I have a promise. It’s not from someone who I can’t trust. It’s not from my friend who I have known for a couple of years. It’s not from a sibling or a prestigious Rabbi, it’s from G-D!
“And it shall come to pass if you surely listen to the commandments that I command you today. to love the Lord your God and to serve him with all your heart and all your soul, That I will give rain to your land, the early and the late rains, that you may gather in your grain, your wine and your oil. And I will give grass in your fields for your cattle and you will eat and you will be satisfied. Beware, lest your heart be deceived and you turn and serve other gods and worship them. And anger of the Lord will blaze against you, and he will close the heavens and there will not be rain, and the earth will not give you its fullness, and you will perish quickly from the good land that the Lord gives you.(Deuteronomy 11:13-21)”
HaShem cries down to us every day. He screams to us “PLEASE! WAKE UP!!! WAKE UP!!!!!” He sends an earth quake but few hear… He cries to us a hurricane of tears but we seem to think it’s a drip from the faucet so we roll over and fall into our slumber once again… “MY CHILDREN, WHY HAVE YOU LEFT ME? WHY HAVE YOU FORGOTTEN?! WAKE UP!!” He sends us something more personal… a death in the family, a car accident that we miraculously didn’t die in and then again we stay comfortable in our beds unshaken. Then… He sends us the bone shuddering news of the Jews who gave their heart, their FULL heart for HaShem when no one else would and he takes them. He takes the martyrs of our world. The people who would have willingly given their lives for the sake of a religion that most people who are involved in are clueless about. He says “When will you wake up?! When will the days of old return again? “
We still don’t wake up… the soft words, the tap, the pinch, the push… nothing …we are comfortable deep in a dark sleep.
My sweetest friends WHY do we need to be punched in the face? Why must it come to that?! Take this as a sweet and soft wake up call for what can be coming next. It says in the Talmud that good deeds can change predestined events.
The Lubavitcher Rebbe teaches that we must take the tears and pain and turn it into action.
WAKE UP! Make a difference! Challenge yourself to ask questions!
For the remembrance of the viciously murdered do a good deed. Bring yourself closer to smelling the coffee and seeing the sunrise. How do we cope with these events that make us question… we strive and we bring ourselves closer to the source. HaShem tells us if we follows his ways then we will live in that utopian society that people don’t think actually exists… it does exist, the only catch is WE must create it.
Focus on intention in the mitzvoat and Brachot you make.
Focus on speech
“WAKE UP! WAKE UP! for your light has come, rise up and shine. AWAKEN AWAKEN utter a song the Glory of Hashem has been revealed upon you.” – Come my Beloved (The Shabbat prayer)

(by: Isaiah Rothstein – forwarded to me on facebook)